ups and downs of the past weeks

one has to fall to the deepest end before she can rise again.

the couple of weeks past has been overwhelming.

synopsis : was heartbroken over what i thought a small misunderstanding, vowed to get over the toxic man and the toxic relationship, coincidentally received news of being transferred to a different department, had a Farewell Party/Liberated Girl party only to end up so fucking drunk that i threw up cranberry vodka all over the toilet at Butter Factory and making drunken calls to the toxic man begging him to forgive me--fucking regrettable i may admit. started work at swanky new department only to have serious incompatibility issues with the new boss. hates new department to the point that i'm willing to spend lunch hours back at old place and help out at the old place. got fucking depressed. tried one last attempt at patching up what's left of the toxic relationship but he refused me any room to explain myself, decided that i'll just walk away from him even with the unresolved issues.

and when i decided that i don't care anymore, did things finally start to become better. i have felt somewhat liberated (before that damn cranberry vodka came into my system and fuck things up). but now i'm really, really, truly liberated. carefree. refocus on work. needed all the focus to not get into a fight with the new boss (who irks me half to death). so far managed to control my usually explosive temper and cooperate with her. (yeay!). deleted all of the toxic man's messages, restricted him from seeing me on FB and also restricted my view of him on FB. lived a peaceful life without him, until one morning randomly awaken by a Whatsapp message from him saying "we will always be friends, :)". replied with a heartless "OK" and continued my life without him.

sure, we can be friends. * eye-roll*

and today would have to be one of the best of days that I've had in a while. finally blend in with the new colleagues, ate and ate and ate and ate till i can't eat anymore, started my day with a prayer, and managed to exercise as i had planned. a bit of sweat and a whole lotta endorphin. :) made me happy as fuck, and i feel all loose and relaxed. it's a good day, a good day indeed.