i'm the type of person who does not keep a lot of friends. sure, i have a lot of acquaintances, but it's not easy to get into my 'friends' circle, and even harder to get to 'close friends' circle, and i think almost impossible to get to the 'sisters' circle. trust me. even biological sister can't get into my 'sisters' circle. :)
the difference between the friendship level is based on how far i trust the person. basically, i don't trust anyone i keep as acquaintances. there are some bits of trust in my friends, and so on. as for sisters, i would trust them with my life.
so the story goes like this: in nursing college i got to know a girl. we started off as acquaintance, i actually gravitated towards her as she is somewhat in my wavelength in terms of a city girl with a passion for fashion, from similar family background and an open mind. we hung out a lot and gradually she became the few close friends that i had in that godforsaken college.
then after 3 years, graduation came and we went our separate ways. sure, i miss what few friends that i had back in college, especially since i don't make that many at work. so when the girl suddenly contacted me and wanted to hang out, i jumped at the chance. didn't care that i was tired after a super busy PM shift (work finished at 9pm, went out from ward at 11pm), i still went out of my way to meet her. we had fun, just exchanging stories and updating each other on our lives. we promised to meet up again some other time before we part for the night.
until one night she invited me for late night snacks at a mamak place. as usual, i've just finished a tiring day of PM shift but for the sake of seeing a good friend i dragged myself to see her. but what i got that night was a disappointing surprise. she actually had arranged that her "friend" came talk to me to pitch a shady business scheme that immediately screamed "Ponzi!!" in my head.
my face changed. my mind changed. my trust in her was totally destroyed within seconds. one thing was that it is an insult to my intelligence for her to think i would fall for that shit. another is that all those time, she was saying how much she wanted me to join her because she "trusted" me. no honey, "trust" is what i gave you. and now i take it back. because you betrayed it by trying to sell me out.
being the good (unconfrontational) friend that i am, i just put on my poker face, bid my farewell with a smile and left. and now she won't stop bugging me, calling me day in and day out, asking to see me again and again and again. i just kept lying and lying. it's fucking choking me, all the calls.
i just, i don't believe in easy money. sure, i hate it when i have to work hard to earn my pay. but at least i know i make an honest way of living. if there's one thing i learned in life, it's that there is no such thing as easy money. no one makes thousands just sitting on their ass. and another thing i learned the hard way in life is that greed will only bring you down. better to be thankful for what you have. i make just enough to pay for my car, put some food on the table and afford me some little bits of indulgences -- and i'm perfectly thankful.
so yeah, what i got out of this is to watch my back - people i trust might stab me from the back as i hug them. thanks a lot for bringing my paranoia a step further, "friend".
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