Mom

okay, now this is a tricky little thing for me to discuss, and i've been battling my own conscience on this matter.

sigh.

i think i finally know what it is about my hometown that i hate so much. and please, don't judge me for saying this, but i think it's because of my mother.

yes. i can't stand the idea of going back to the hometown because that's where my mother is.

i'm sorry mother, i know that you love me and cares for me and sacrificed a lot for me and you want nothing but the best that life can give for me--i totally understand all those things, and i love you for that... but i really have come to a point that i really can't stand you.

i know. i'm evil. i'm a shitpiece of a daughter. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so so so sorry. but i just cannot lie to myself about how i feel, but recently i've discovered that being near you always gets a rise out of me. i can't control my temper around you, and i just find that everything you say gets me annoyed. and please don't ask me why. i don't know why. maybe i'm just so screwed up like that.

sigh.

that is why i find that the best way for me to keep the peace is by staying away from you. i know it hurts your feelings that i'm never around, and that i never wanted to stay at home even when i'm on holidays, but i think it's better that way than having my uncontrollable anger making me scream or throw sarcastic remarks at you.

i. just. don't. want. to. be. that. kind. of. daughter.

i'm sorry. i'm really sorry.